touchdown Durban

The flight from Port Elizabeth (P.E) was only 30 quid with BA owned airline Kulula and it was very different. The crew made a point of entertaining as well as flying with a comedy routine which ran from take off to touch down and was a little sharp at times. eg "as CD plyers, mobile phones, laptop computers, lawn mowers and battery operted vibrating devices can effect navigation systems we ask you to switch them off until the seatbelt light goes off", "note the brace position is for emergencies only and not becasue you need a hug", "we are now taxiing for take off, please put your seats in the upright position, stow your table and cross your fingers". "If cabin pressure is lost, stop screaming and slap anyone else who is still screaming, fit your own mask before attempting to help children or passengers behaving like children","smoke detectors are fitted in the toilets and should anyone activate them they will be required to leave the aircraft immediately", and "please check your belongings before leaving the aircraft as with Christmas coming the cabin crew are on the lookout for MP3 players, cameras and mobile phones"- it went on and there's no way I could remember all the gags.

Durban was hot with it's own fierce winds, although not as bad as PE where the same winds that blew the fires was literally blowing ground crew off their feet on the airport tarmac. I caught a shuttle bus to Banana backpackers which I had booked for 3 nights. On arrival I was immediately disappointed as the building was a run down block of flats. Inside was worse and when she asked for payment up front I said I only had enough money for one night on me. The whole place was filthy, the bedding was only an old prison blanket for which they wanted a R20 deposit- luckily I had my sleeping bag. There were a couple of old men living in the dorm which gives you some idea of what the place was like. With a brothel on either side and a kitchen so bad it barely warrants the title- complete with leaking gas. I went for a walk to the beach which at 500m was the one saving grace of the place, however, I was told to be back in for 5.30 when it became dangerous for me to be in the area. Of course this made getting food difficult and I was forced to get a take away delivered, opting for a chicken tikka wrap it was the first of many curries in this town of Indian immigrants.
At about 9.30 I was approached by my roomie, Vincenzo from Trieste who wanted to go out to watch the Uventus match. Initially my reaction was negative because I have no interest in football but then I realised that we had actually formed an escape committee and we hit the mean streets. Vince was as tall as me and had a charming accent which made him very likeable so I didn't anticpate many problems. He worked in Wolverhampton for while so we had plenty to talk about as we loped from bar to bar in search of sky sports 7. Ultimately our quest was fruitless but we had achieved a credible bar crawl and finally settled for a few games of pool and a bit of Man U in one of those places where everything is painted black. We were constanly told by locals, hotel doormen etc that it wasn't safe for us to be out but apart from the odd beggar who gave up in the face of a determined stride we experienced no hostility.
Things did take a turn for the worse when we returned to Banana at 1 am to find we were locked out. Although confident, my attempts to break in were hampered by the clients of the the neighbouring premises leaving for home (or wherever). Eventually Vince saved the day by using the last few seconds of talktime to call the building's security company. Sure enough within a few minutes a security guard rushed from the adjacent 'Sonja's' massage parlour and let us in.