Touchdown Tel Aviv

After the excitement of having my hand luggage confiscated for a "routine check" by El Al security staff at Stansted then standing on the gantry as the aircraft prepared to move off as I waited for it's return I was pretty much ready for anything. I brushed oiff the limited leg room and the two old men arguing in the row in front. I was mentally prepared for the delicate issue of the stampiong of my passprt or more importantly the non stamping of it. Sadly,the 20 something girl on the customs desk was not. Apparently it's normal to ask as many Muslim countries consider the passport to be tainted if it has an Israeli stamp. She cleverly asked if I would be requesting the customs officers of the Muslim nations in question not to stamp it and I of course said I would if she would like me to. This led to more questions about why I was there? Why not? Who I was staying with- Dan and Dana, this led to a titter on her part, I said that if I were looking to make up names I wouldn't choosed them, she dryly replied, it's not that uncommon, I just think it's funny.When testeed on where they lived I was stuck having been told it was too dificult. I could only suggest she come and meet them in arrivals- the farce ended when a woman in a wheel chair begann wailing and screaming and everyone excerpt me wen to see why.
D&D were indeeed waiting for me- which is always nice, I may set up a company, maybe even a charity to meet people at airports. After a very big coffee Dana went off to work while Dan and I went to find a hire car. A good deal secured I drove back to their place while Dan hit me with a constant stream of necessary information.I took him to the railway station and then headed back for a doze as I hadnt slept all night.I wasn't too worried when I got lost on the way back as I got to see alittle of the town and met some nice people who gave me vague directions.When I got back D&D took it in turns to phone to see if I weas ok/try to wake me up- even their neighbour joined in the phone fun so I went out.I grabbed some lunch at a shopping centre and was asked on the way in by the security lady if I had a gun. Obviuosly I didn't and waited a few seconds half expecting to be given one before deciding that one brush with female authority figures was enough.
I then drove 20 mins to the other side of Tel Aviv to the suburb when Dad works and hit the beach/ It was about this time that all the imformatiion Dan had given me formed some order in my head and I had even remebered to count to ten, say hello. goodbye, please and thankyou etc in Hebrew.
Lighty toasted I drove to Dan factory where I had a quick tour of his department and Dana arrived.we went to a swanky burger place- they serve massive real home made burgers with a long list of extras including goose breast, remember Dan only eats once a day and it has to be meat.Vegetables are what he eats, eats- but I disticntly saw a slice of tomato in his burger!
I tried to pay but they wouldn't let me, Dana even said "wait until we go somewhere expensive", now anyone who says that to a guest on their first night in the country is tops in my book, excellent!